Have I Mentioned The F****ing Suppositories?

I know that I have. Here and here.

And I am sorry if you are stopping here for the ICLW and find me all aggravated here. But I can’t hold it.

But seriously. I am so glad I am currently unemployed. Because I cannot send those into my vag. They give me burns and itches.

Rectally, though, this is the scenario: no burns, no itch, they are FAR easier to shove in (or up?) but then about 15 minutes later I need to run 2 stairs at a time to the WC. That’s water closet. That’s washroom. Bathroom. Powder room. In short, it feels like f****ing diarrhea! When you feel you can’t run fast enough to get there in time.

I am so frustrated with this whole thing. Why aren’t there no normal pills design to swallow, like birth control pills? I mean, they are hormones, too – so it’s not like you can swallow hormones…

Argh!!!! This better be all going towards a pregnancy!!!

CD21, 7DPO.

The Progesterone Saga Continues

So after a while of fighting with all the burning and itching sensations, I called my fertility clinic. “WTF?” – was my question.

“Are you prone to yiest infection? It looks like the suppositories are giving you a yiest infection. I’m afraid it means you’ll have to take them rectally. Or at least alternate – morning vaginally, evening rectally”.

Just kill me.

This prospect was even less appealing than the original one when all of a sudden I found out I needed those stupid suppositories.

The surprising part? They went in INCREDIBLY easily. I mean, we have very strong muscles there. You can make them pretty much suck things up there. Like an elevator going up (am I being waaay too graphic?)

The problematic part is that it makes you feel like you really, badly need to poo.

This is a lose-lose situation.

And no picture for this post.

Progesterone Suppositories Disaster

So you know how yesterday I said the “pussy pills” weren’t all that bad?

WRONG.

Yesterday evening I went to the bathroom to stick two pills way up inside me. Only for whatever reason, I couldn’t. Maybe I was too tense, maybe too dry… whatever the reason, I could only push them about half an inch or so in – and they would immediately get squeezed out, peaking out of… there.

I changed poses. I did mental exercises to relax myself. I lay down on the floor.

No matter what I did, every time I pushed, they squeezed right back out again, immediately.

At some point they decided it was melting time. My whole “area” got itchy and promptly started to burn and chant “u-ri-nate! u-ri-nate!”

I was freaking out. I got convinced I caught yet another UTI (urinary tract infection). It was all the same symptoms: burning, itching, inability to remove myself from the toilet seat for my bladder ached with the feeling of fullness (even though there was nothing in it).

After about HALF HOUR of struggle, I was able to push the pills just past the pelvic bone and they stayed there. It wasn’t all the way at the cervix as it’s supposed to be, but after 30 minutes of sweating and swearing, and jumping from toilet seat to the floor, pushing the god damn pills back in, and then back on the toilet again to pee or “imagine myself peeing”, all the way dealing with burning and itching, I felt that “just past the pelvic bone” classifies as “as far up as I can”. As the doctor ordered.

It took me a while to relax and overcome the burning and peeing to finally fall asleep. And even this morning peeing burned.

Yikes.

The only positive: the pill went right in this morning, although the moment it was past my pelvic bone, it turned and got stuck at 180 degrees. Perpendicular to everything. I just left it there. Whatever.

*very frustrated sigh*

Progesterone OD?

So the progesterone “pussy pills” turned out to be not too bad. Not quite as messy as I was told. Yeah, partially it’s my anatomy (even AF stays mostly in until I go and use the facilities), but seriously, not that much of a mess.

But it is good I don’t work now so I can “swallow” (LOL) a pill and then just wait for 20-30 minutes for it to get absorbed, while reading a book in bed or something.

By the way, I wonder about the progesterone dose: my pills are 200 mg progesterone and I take 1 in the morning and 2 in the evening. My IF friends are telling me theirs were 100 mg (and much less expensive, as the result). I am wondering if I might have got the wrong dosage? Is it possible to OD on progesterone?

Started eating oat bran. Not too bad, but yucky nevertheless. I’ll have to find that magic way to cook it to make it more palatable.

Keep swallowing my PregVit twice a day. The folic acid vitamin.

Avoiding alcohol and pills, but had to take an ibuprofen a couple of days ago. It was either take it or”off with their heads”. My head, that is.

The weather is still gloomy and rainy. It’s been like this for about 6 days straight now. I feel sleepy and tired. But then maybe the progesterone makes me sleepy and tired.

Made cabbage rolls yesterday. Used up a whole cabbage head – yikes! So many cabbage rolls, I had to freeze most of them for lunch boxes for my hubby. But they are yummy!

In short, all is well and normal. Despite the leaking pussy pills, bruised veins, exhausting twice-a-day vitamin swallowing and just overall grumpiness.

Eating Right

I heard that progesterone supplements can, potentially, bring on a lot of pregnancy symptoms: bloating, constipation, slowed down metabolism…

So I went and bought a box of oat bran and made myself a porridge this morning with banana pieces added in. It wasn’t bad, actually! And it is written that it helps fight constipation and speed up metabolism.

I wonder what else can I do with my diet to make things easier on me?

I am Pissed

So today I went to FS to confirm ovulation. Ovulation confirmed, I am talking to the doctor, he says: “last cycle your progesterone was on the lower side, so we’re going to start you on progesterone”

Me, surprised: “so why didn’t you start me on progesterone last cycle?”

FS, flipping through the pages: “because at that point it was too late to start you on progesterone”

Me thinking: “so why did you schedule the PROGESTERONE TEST on the day when it was too late to do anything about my progesterone?!?!”

I didn’t ask that last question. I mean, he’s my doctor and I kinda don’t wanna make a scene and ruin the relationship (not that there is any real relationship to speak of).

But I am seriously pissed. I got even more pissed when I found out:

• the price: over $100 a week ( have no clue whether insurance covers it)
• the frequency: 1 stick to be inserted in the morning and 2 in the evening, DAILY
• the mess: those consist mostly of wax, so I will have to wear pads all the time. According to my friend – daily thin pads WON’T BE ENOUGH. And we’ll have to have timed sex – when the morning mess dries up and the evening mess hasn’t started yet
• the length: in case of a BFP, I’ll have to take these until 12 weeks into pregnancy! That’s a ton of maxi pads!
• the symptoms: I might have all the pregnancy symptoms: nausea, constipation, tender enlarged breasts

Now, please understand me: I do want a baby and I am ready to do lots of sacrifices. It’s just that last month when I called to inquire about my progesterone test results, I was told everything was NORMAL and they’ll see me in a week for a pregnancy test.

And now they’re telling me it was NOT normal and I do need additional progesterone. I am just not sure whether I trust them. And the consequences of going along with what they’re suggesting are too big to just blindly follow them.

I don’t know what to do.

I am pissed.

Mr. D’Best

Today is my Birthday.

My awesome hubby made this day special for me by waking up real early, closing the door to our bedroom and baking (!) croissants for me. You read this right. Baking. He went and bought Pillsbury dough, chocolate chips – and made them, along with some fresh coffee. And flowers. And a balloon. And gifts. We’re going to tango classes – how awesome is that?!

I have the best husband ever. Most thoughtful, most loving, most awesome. For me, in any way. Not to say your husbands aren’t the best, of course

I love my life