So you know how yesterday I said the “pussy pills” weren’t all that bad?
Yesterday evening I went to the bathroom to stick two pills way up inside me. Only for whatever reason, I couldn’t. Maybe I was too tense, maybe too dry… whatever the reason, I could only push them about half an inch or so in – and they would immediately get squeezed out, peaking out of… there.
I changed poses. I did mental exercises to relax myself. I lay down on the floor.
No matter what I did, every time I pushed, they squeezed right back out again, immediately.
At some point they decided it was melting time. My whole “area” got itchy and promptly started to burn and chant “u-ri-nate! u-ri-nate!”
I was freaking out. I got convinced I caught yet another UTI (urinary tract infection). It was all the same symptoms: burning, itching, inability to remove myself from the toilet seat for my bladder ached with the feeling of fullness (even though there was nothing in it).
After about HALF HOUR of struggle, I was able to push the pills just past the pelvic bone and they stayed there. It wasn’t all the way at the cervix as it’s supposed to be, but after 30 minutes of sweating and swearing, and jumping from toilet seat to the floor, pushing the god damn pills back in, and then back on the toilet again to pee or “imagine myself peeing”, all the way dealing with burning and itching, I felt that “just past the pelvic bone” classifies as “as far up as I can”. As the doctor ordered.
It took me a while to relax and overcome the burning and peeing to finally fall asleep. And even this morning peeing burned.
The only positive: the pill went right in this morning, although the moment it was past my pelvic bone, it turned and got stuck at 180 degrees. Perpendicular to everything. I just left it there. Whatever.
*very frustrated sigh*