50 Days to Go – Yikes!

Yikes! Only 50 days! *looking at the long to-do and to-buy lists*

I am starting to worry. Not about the pains of labour, though. Two things worry me the most: will the baby be healthy? Will he be okay? Won’t he have any mental or physical illnesses?

Another thing that worries me – to a much lesser extent – is after-labour pains, discomforts, etc.

Somehow the labour itself still doesn’t quite captivate my attention, imagination and fears. I see it as “well, there will be a very painful day, but it’ll be just one day, I can live through that”.

While the past-labour bloody discharge, the burning of peeing, the pains of stitches (perineal or c-section), the engorgement, etc. – that’s what worries me. Will I be strong or will I break down into hysterics and tears and self-pitying?

Pre-labour worries me less, but there are questions. Like whether I should start placing a waterproof pad in bed – just in case my water breaks down in the middle of the night? I want to protect the mattress

I also wonder if no Braxton-Hicks means anything? Aren’t they supposed to “train” your uterus for the real labour? And why doesn’t my uterus exercise? Is it a sign that I won’t go in labour just like my sis – who didn’t have contractions even after the administration of oxytocin?

In short, I am starting to worry as it gets closer…

Hubbies of Pregnant Wives

I often see questions in online forums from heavily pregnant women, asking for advice on how to satisfy their hubbies that complain the sex life became too boring. I always feel like giving a slap to those hubbies. Seriously? This woman is carrying your baby and you complain about sex getting a bit bland? You complain about lack of sex games and narrow variety of poses? REALLY? Newsflash for you: for many pregnant couples sex is out of bounds for the whole 9 months. And for those who can do it – it’s a chore. Seriously, turning from the left side to the right side in the middle of the night makes me sigh and grunt. And you complain about sex positions?..

I realized I don’t spend much time talking about my hubby here – and he deserves more than that! Yes, I knew I married a wonderful, caring person – but the way he supports me throughout this journey to motherhood doesn’t seize to fill me with gratitude and more love.

Take the now – 7.5 months pregnant – lots of things are hard and tiring. He took over cleaning, vacuuming, and loading/unloading of the dishwasher (the repeated leaning/bowing is killing my back). He never says a word about no food in the fridge, no lunch to take to work. And he never forgets to thank me for a quick bowl of boiled perogies. And he can even cook something occasionally.

He never says a word if I spend a whole day doing nothing but hugging my laptop.

When I have my hormonal moments, he just leaves me alone. He doesn’t get mad at me. He doesn’t tell me I’m misbehaving. He just withdraws until I return to my normal self. I don’t have many of those moments these days, but the first trimester was fairly roller-coastery.

He forces me to go to bed earlier if he sees I am tired. He tries to take over as much chores as he can – and as many household questions (calling to inquire about a bill, things like that).

He offers to pick me up at the subway station if I’m coming home later than he does. He brings me flowers and treats. He hugs me and pampers me – and my belly.

Literally, he does everything to create a calm and worry-free environment for me – and our baby.

And while I keep telling him just how much I notice and appreciate all these things – there’s no way for me to express it enough. I am blessed to have him as a husband. I am very happy to have him as the father of my baby.

Over-sized Fish in an Under-sized Bowl

There are a couple of spots on my belly that feel bruised.

In one spot, just a bit above the belly button, the baby usually keeps a limb or a butt, putting constant pressure. If I lightly press there – it hurts.

In another spot, to the left, baby often kicks – it feels bruised, too.

I wonder if it’s true. If babies actually do bruise us.

I also wonder – their nails have started to grow. Can they scratch themselves in-uteri? Can they scratch me – or the sac doesn’t have any nerves in it for me to feel the scratching?

Constipation is my number one enemy right now. It’s really bad. And taking metamucil, while helping with the constipation, produces painful gas. I just can’t win. Sigh.

As much as I overall enjoy being pregnant (and as much as I still am overjoyed that I got pregnant at all), I am starting to look forward to the baby getting born. I am not yet reaching the point of “get this out of me!” – I heard many women saying that in the last stages of pregnancy – but I can see how this can happen.

He’s a bigger than average baby. And a heavy one. And a very active one.

But if anyone asked me right now – if you could, would you give birth right now – I would say no. If I have to be honest, I still enjoy being pregnant way too much. I wished for it for so long. I am not ready to give it up. Let the baby swim inside me. Like an oversized fish in a bowl that is too small for it

(Image by Glen Wexler)

Blond Baby Boy Dream

I saw a Dream today. I was in bed, watching my belly go wild (my guess is the baby probably was going wild in reality) – and then all of a sudden the baby “got born” through my belly button. No blood no nothing – he just kind of stretched through it, nice and clean, but duely with an umbilical cord.

I took him in my arms. He was bigger than a newborn is supposed to be and his skin was perfectly white as opposed to red and wrinkly. He was blond (my hubby and I are both dark-haired). He held his head on his own. I looked at him, he looked back at me and… gave me a broad, warm smile. I beamed back.

And then I started panicking and urging my hubby to call 911 – or hospital – to find out what we’re supposed to do with the newborn and the umbilical cord. And the fact the he’s a preemie – only 7 months old.

And then I woke up – with a broad smile and a memory of this blond boy with a loving smile

Getting Ready to Become a Mom

A hectic post today.

I am preparing for the preggo-to-mom transition.

I signed up for moms’ meetup groups – one Toronto-wide and one local (neighbourhood). So far I saw lots of events, but all of them are for moms – happening in the middle of the day, on weekdays. But today I met tet-a-tet with an expectant mom (her EDD is 2 weeks past mine) – it was nice to meet in person someone pregnant and chat. The only other pregnant woman in my real (vs. virtual) life is my colleague with twins – but we aren’t too close.

The meetup went well, I think. I would like to meet again. I really want to find some company for my year-long matleave. And beyond, of course So I am starting to build relationships.

I also started a running list of things to be bought (e.g. allergy-free detergent, nursing bra pads, etc.) and things to be done (e.g. pack the L&D bag, wash the clothes, etc).

Yesterday we re-arranged the furniture in the nursery. Can’t wait for the crib to arrive.

I am meeting my interior designer friend on Friday – we’ll look at some fabric samples for the nursery curtains. Hopefully, I will find something there.

Baby was doing some pretty painful stretching today. I am getting really puzzled over the idea of him spending 8 more weeks inside me. Feels like he’s already running out of space.

My plan to cut down carbs and sugars isn’t exactly working. What a girl supposed to do? It’s xmas season, the office is flooded with gift baskets full of chocolates… Grow baby grow…

I Finished the Glider!

Hours of needlework, my fingertips shedding skin, my back tired – but I am happy with the results. The glider is finished!

Here’s my curved needle (oh how proud I was when I entered a store and asked where they had a curved needle – only to realize that it is, in fact, the actual name for this needle! It said so on the package) and one of the fabrics I used:

Here’s what the glider looked like when we got it (black and worn out):

Little by little, I transformed it:

And ta-daaaam!

 

Lucky Me

The street on which I usually disembark from my streetcar on the way to work is closed for construction.

Now my streetcar – that starts its route at my doorstep – lets me out at my office’s doorstep (as opposed to 6 minutes walk away as it was before). With winter and cold and black ice approaching, and my belly getting bigger and me getting clumsier – this is awesome!

Although there are very few workdays left for me.

My last day is Jan. 17th. And in any case I work only 3 days a week. But still -I see this change of route as a welcomed surprise

32 Weeks & Finding the Perfect Crib

32 Weeks! For some reason, it feels important. Have I read somewhere that at 32 weeks chances of survival are very, very good? Maybe. Do not remember.

I know that, in general, it is said that baby gets into the head-down position by 32 weeks. While mine flipped a couple of weeks ago, I have an uneasy feeling that he might’ve flipped – again. His position just doesn’t feel the same. If before than I could feel – and see – his feet bumping out at the top of my belly, now I don’t. And most of the time bumps appear somewhere around the middle of my belly  – at the sides. And often I feel something bigger at the top of my belly (not as high as feet used to be, much closer to belly button).

I am trying to convince myself that he simply turned into the very right position, facing my back (is it called posterior?) and it’s his bum that I see at the top, and his knees that I see at the sides, but I am not sure.

Well, we’ll see. Not much I can do in any case, right?

Yesterday my hubby and I stayed in bed, amused with our baby’s activity. I hugged my hubby and we had the belly slightly squished between the two of us, so both of us felt every kick and every move (and boy were there a lot to feel!). And then the baby started hiccuping – the poor thing couldn’t stop for like 20 minutes, maybe even more. I always feel so sorry for him – I can’t even comfort him!

My hubby is certain our baby boy will be one of those babies that resist swaddling and get all red in the face if you try and tuck their arms inside the receiving blanket Most babies like swaddling – because that’s what they’re used to in-uteri, but our baby obviously likes his freedom to move and exercises it every waking moment (his waking moment).

On a separate note, we bought a crib yesterday. I really wanted a crib in natural wood (colour) but it doesn’t seem to exist! I am so frustrated with furniture stores – all the furniture, everywhere, seems to be this almost-black wood. It was really cool a few years ago, but now every store sells it – and, unfortunately, finding something in nice light wood became an impossible task. Last year when we bought our house, we gave in and bought a dark wood bed for we couldn’t sleep on the floor any longer.

And the same thing with cribs! We saw one (ONE!) crib that was neither white or almost-black – and it was a discontinued, last floor model (and it was ugly). What’s up? I personally think that furniture that dark in the nursery looks oppressive – especially when you think of other matching pieces of furniture (dresser, book cases later, etc.)

There are nice lighter wood cribs in online stores that DO NOT SHIP TO CANADA. Grrrrr.

So we bought an off-white crib (they called the colour “linen”) – and I consider this to be a very expensive purchase for something that wasn’t exactly what I wanted. Oh well. I am sure our baby won’t care much