1 Apr

I am going to get Zachary do see his pediatrician tomorrow. I now suspect he has a bad reflux case. He has sudden bouts of intense crying, arching his back, sounding in pain. He coughs – and then his breath smell sour-vomity. If he spits up – it’s sour and it bothers him. He wakes up in the middle of the night to spit up (with piercing cries).

To be honest, I sort of hope that’s what’s happening. His constant crying – shrieking, actually,- kust doesn’t seem normal. It’s not the “I’m bored” complaints – it’s yelling, shrieking, screaming.

So we’ll see…

Zachary is 3 weeks old

19 Mar

Sorry for disappearing. In short, all is well.

In long… well, Zachary is not Timothy. Timothy was an awesome night sleeper the moment he was born. Feed him, swaddle him, put him down, forget about him for 3-5 hours.

Not Zachary. Not only does he eat round the clock – he has difficulties falling asleep. So it’s wake up, eat for 30-40 minutes, and then spend 1-1.5 hours drilling a hole in my head. Fussing, crying, refusing to go to sleep. I would get him all sleepy and then, after we both start drifting away, he would poop. Or sneeze. Or start hiccupping. And then we’re back to square one.

So after 2 hours of eating and crying he’d fall asleep… only to wake up an hour later for it’s been 3 hours and he’s hungry again. Sigh.
Some nights are better. Others I am reduced to tears, cursing and asking what the f does he want and why won’t he just shut up and go to sleep. Yeah, I’m yelling at my own baby. Classy.

Oh well.

Timothy was pretty whiny during the day and a terrible napper. Zachary has much longer naps – but getting him to fall asleep for a nap is a major pain in the ass, too

He spends quite some time awake – crying, usually. He doesn’t react to rattle or my voice or pretty much anything – so being awake is pretty boring for him, I’d imagine. So he cries. Unless I unrelentlessly bounce on a yoga ball with him in my arms. The moment I try and leave the ball – screaming renews.

And then he’d nap. Most likely in my arms. So I spend my days watching dvds. With all special features, deleted scenes and commentaries – for I can’t get up and put another dvd in…

I’m exhausted. And frustrated and angry often, too. Like right now. Trying to get him to sleep. Desperately wanting to crawl in bed.

I am glad he’s my second child and I know how quickly things change and this will pass soon enough.

But for now, night time sleep qnd baby that just fights sleep is all that’s on my mind…

8 days

7 Mar

Zachary is 8 days old.

Thank you all for all the good wishes in my previous post!

I plan to write in more detail later (am typing with one thumb on my phone right now during a breastfeeding session.

Recovery was agonizing, the pain and the limitations it brings were driving me to tears. But I am healing faster than the last time.

Zachary lost 8% of his weight in the hospital (300 grams or 2/3 of a pound) but gained almost all of it back in 2.5 days after discharge. Pediatrician was so pleased she didn’t think we needed to come for another month!

However, to keep up with his appetite, I barely slept. I was reduced to co-sleeping in most uncomfortable poses, waking up every 45-60 minutes, crying a few times from exhaustion. Timothy was a big baby and did never need to feed that frequently, especially during night time. I also couldn’t put him down. He lost so much weight he was always cold if left on his own.

After those initial two nights at home, it got a bit better, I get to sleep 1.5-2 hours at a time, but he’s still feeding almost nonstop during the day. I barely left the couch today, my whole body aches from being so immobile.

Today I started crying as I really wanted to sleep and Zachary kept waking up 10 minutes after putting down. So hubby announced that Zachary cannot possibly be hungry, so he took Zachary downstairs and let me sleep. Zachary ended up sleeping for 4.5 hours straight! What was that about?! Whatever that was, I feel renewed.

Timothy is endlessly tender towards Zachary, always hugging and kissing him, but his behavior is now awful. Everything and anything sends him to tears, everything is like pulling teeth now. And I can’t even pick him up due to c-section. I feel so sad for him 😦 Especially since he’s so good witg Zachary. We try and focus as much as we cqn on him before and after daycare, but still…

So there you go. Our news, in short.


27 Feb

Baby Zachary was born today just after midnight via c-section at a whopping – for 38w3d – 8 pounds 1 ounce.

He’s already ate 4 boobs and pooped 🙂


26 Feb

Decided to go get checked – aaaand I’m in labour. Contractions are every 2 minutes (thank god I’m not feeling them all… yet…) but only 1 cm dilated and cervix still long.

My gyno is actually here – she said she thought we might try a VBAC, but seeing that such frequent contractions are doing nothing to progress my labour – I’m being prepped for c-section. They took my blood and inserted an IV.

Hubby is at home with Timothy. My friend is on her way to our place now to let my husband go join me…

Aaaah, I did not expect this!!!

Hmmmm…. early labour?

26 Feb

This feels like labour.

It could be braxton Hicks, but idk… Around 3 pm today as I was leaving my friend’s place, I started feeling uncomfortable tightening in my belly. It felt like mild diarrhoea or menstrual cramps.

They didn’t go away. Even after I had a bowel movement.

They are not too painful or too close together – but they don’t feel like “training” contractions, either.

It hurts all over, well, not hurts – cramps. I am resting now, drinking lots of water. So far it hasn’t stopped. And every time I stand up to refill my son’s Cheerios cup, they feel worse.

I already called my friend who’s agreed to look after Timothy while we’re in the hospital to check if she would be able to arrive today if needed (as opposed to next week). So she’s on standby…

Let’s see… ouch …another contraction …

38w1d and gyno visit

24 Feb

I started matleave. Thursday was my last day. I am not feeling it yet.

And my mini vacation before the baby arrives is a short one – next Tuesday is the c-section day already.

Although I’d rather lay quiet and draw and paint for the remainder of me-time, I am active : had an afternoon tea with a few girlfriends on Friday, belly photo session on Saturday, friend’s  baby shower yesterday (Sunday), gyno visit today, lunch tomorrow, dinner Thursday …

And there are some errands still like dropping by the dealership or buying bum cream…

Night sweats are annoying. I wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. I go use the washroom and climbing back in soaking wet bed is disgusting.

Heartburn is still bugging me, mostly at bed time.

Nipples are less itchy, but the I lather them in lanolin twice a day.

Baby’s still very active, punching me here and there. My favourite ones are in my rectum :/

On the bright side, I am starting to get excited. I think of the real baby, I envision hugging and kissing and smelling it. I think if the matleave months ahead. I finally not only accepted what is coming – but embraced it. I feel peaceful and happy 🙂

Hubby, on the other hand, is nervous about the upcoming change: if I will be on matleave, wrapping my life around baby’s needs, for him the new addition will be on top of his already busy life. And he will have to look after Timothy more than he does now. I hope he doesn’t lose his cool and we maintain a balance.

Weight gain is still fairly non-existent.

A week and a day to go until the new baby arrives. Craaazyyyyy!

The gyno decided this was our last rendezvous, no need to meet next Monday.

My blood pressure was as low as always 100/60), baby’s heartbeat was perfect, and she checked my cervix – completely shut, so we don’t expect this baby to try and get born sooner.

I did test positive for that bacteria they check for before birth. Not a big deal since I am having a c-section, but if my water breaks there’s some risk. I didn’t ask what the risk and the countermeasures were. Hopefully I won’t need to know.

And that’s it. It’s a final countdown!