The Good, the Bad, and the Question Mark

20 Apr

A few things happen today. Let’s start with bad and get it over with!

The bad: I didn’t get the job. Which is disappointing – to lose in the very last round to like 1 or 2 remaining applicants. But then I looked deeper into my emotions and realized that what I really am pissed off about is that I have to keep looking. To keep reviewing job postings, writing cover letters, adjusting my CV, getting interrogated by clueless junior HR people over the phone, attending interviews, occasionally preparing assignments, smiling… And selling, selling, selling myself. Oh how I hate it! But then the realization came that I didn’t really want that job. And that the kinds of jobs I am applying for – I hate even more. I think I am ready to make a career change. Perfect timing, just as I am trying to make the size of my family change… Oh well. You can never time things perfectly.

I can keep spending my days in pj’s though. Ain’t that bad? To keep things positive.

The good: it’s my CD21, they tested my progesterone today. You see, with PCOS all the hormones are wacky, so you can never trust them to be just as high or low as they should be. The test came back: it’s all good, no progesterone injections required. My body is producing all the amount needed on its own! I am to come back next Wednesday for a pregnancy test. Palpitations in my belly!

It’s really good. After a year of no ovulation for my body to (1) have a period on its own out of whack (2) respond with a very well grown follicle to the very first cycle of fertility drug (3) produce enough progesterone – it’s really a miracle! I need one more. To actually get pregnant!

The question mark: implantation is supposed to happen about now, isn’t it? I ovulated last Thursday. Well, today I was reading a book in a streetcar when of a sudden I felt a weird sting somewhere inside below my navel. As if someone poked and moved a needle point somewehere in the area of my womb. Now, could I have felt my future baby for the first time? I sure hope so!

Well, one more week to wait for an answer: am I pregnant?


8 Responses to “The Good, the Bad, and the Question Mark”

  1. jennawoestman April 20, 2011 at 5:23 PM #

    AWESOME you don’t have to do PIO injections. That is worth two good things right there. They are sucky sucky sucky.

    • zygotta April 20, 2011 at 5:29 PM #

      really? that bad?
      they gave me a shot to trigger the ovulation, just under the skin of my lower back (almost at the waist level)

      wait… you said injectionS…
      does this mean I could’ve needed more than one?

      • jennawoestman April 22, 2011 at 9:32 AM #

        Yep, had you needed the PIO injections you’d have had to shoot yourself in the butt with a 2 inch needle every evening for weeks and weeks. And then the oil would have balled up in your muscle and it would have hurt to sit down because you have this massive oil knot. And once in awhile maybe you’d have injected yourself in the wrong place and accidentally nailed your sciatic nerve with the needle. And perhaps you would have also been allergic to the sesame oil and broken out in hives.

        So be glad. Be VERY GLAD.

        • zygotta April 22, 2011 at 10:07 AM #

          I am glad. Very.

  2. Tracy April 21, 2011 at 9:59 AM #

    Fingers crossed for you, zygotta!! I sure hope that streetcar sting was the first in a long line of kicks and punches from your little nugget. And hey–I wish for unemployment on a daily basis. Don’t be too envious of the employed… Some of us hate our work. A lot. 😉

    • zygotta April 21, 2011 at 11:40 AM #

      I know that, I hated my last job – it was boring and my colleagues were vicious enough to squeeze me out!
      So I am trying to enjoy it while it lasts 🙂

  3. babiesandus April 23, 2011 at 8:20 AM #

    Holding thumbs that that pain you felt was implantation!

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