Things to Remember

30 May

On Friday, when I found out that I was pregnant, my husband came home in the evening, and we stood there, hugging, for a few minutes. And then he left for his karate class. And then he came back. Still empty-handed.

I was really disappointed. I always envisioned this day as a big one. With something to commemorate it.

My husband noticed that something was off with me, so I told him. He confessed that he’s too terrified to get too attached to the idea. He’s terrified of feeling too happy.

“But, you know, I can die tomorrow. Will that stop you from feeling happy about being with me?”

He offered to go and pick up a cake at a supermarket. It was 10 pm, so I said no. Then he went to the little 24/7 store across the street. I stayed and decided to light up some candles. He came back with fruits and chocolates. And flowers šŸ™‚ He washed and cut all of them on his own. He poured himself a glass of white wine, and I poured some cold chamomile tea in mine šŸ™‚

And then we sat there, in flickering candlelight, eating watermelon, melon, strawberries, black cherries, apricots and my favourite round Lindt chocolates. We toasted to this miracle. And we felt utterly happy about the growing Poppy Seed.

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8 Responses to “Things to Remember”

  1. Artistmouse May 30, 2011 at 7:21 PM #

    That sounds wonderful! Neither my husband nor I have gotten the courage to celebrate the pregnancy yet. We acknowledge it, but are still a little scared to get too attached.

    • zygotta May 31, 2011 at 9:43 AM #

      We celebrated… and then 2 days later there was a bit of a brown discharge, so we both felt deflated and fearful. But then the test showed the hcg is growing, so we’re back to me stroking my tummy and my hubby giving it kisses

      But then that’s the way I am – always hoping for the best.

  2. BleedingTulip May 30, 2011 at 10:25 PM #

    That is such a beautiful picture in my head šŸ™‚
    I hope that you can find some moments of peace. There actually is a plethora of folks who have struggled with IF, and gone on to give birth to a live, healthy child. I think that generally speaking those people stop blogging, for a variety of reasons. Usually because they are busy with caring for a newborn, but also because often they think they can no longer associate with infertiles, they think they will be unwelcome by the ALI community. Let me know if you want me to compile up blogs from these folks if you think it will help you.

    • zygotta May 31, 2011 at 9:44 AM #

      What do you think?
      I personally find those IF-to-child blogs very inspiring, it proves, it shows you that all that you do is not in vain

      Mo gave me about 10 blogs of those successful IF stories – but if you have more – the more the merrier!

      • BleedingTulip May 31, 2011 at 12:35 PM #

        My guess is Mo probably has way better lists than I do, but here goes:
        http://www.alittlepregnant.com/
        -she now has 2 kids. Although her TTC was several years ago so you’ll have to go back through her archives to the beginning.
        http://bumpfairy.wordpress.com/
        -she is a gestational surrogate who does miscarry and then goes on to have beautiful babies for loving folks. Because she is a gestational surrogate she goes through the whole IVF process so experiences things similar to infertile couples as far as having to take medications etc.

        I guess I should have posted them to begin with but didn’t want to overwhelm you if you heard from several people and then had 50 blogs to suddenly read.

        • zygotta May 31, 2011 at 4:30 PM #

          Not to worry,I don’t decide to read all the blogs a get recos for šŸ™‚
          Some I don’t like – so I don’t follow.
          Thanks a lot for these Kira!

  3. MommyInWaiting May 31, 2011 at 7:23 AM #

    OMW CONGRATULATIONS! Fantastic news! You guys must be so completely over the moon. Here is to a perfectly healthy next 35 weeks and to the feeling of bliss when you finally get to hold your baby in your arms.

    • zygotta May 31, 2011 at 9:46 AM #

      Thank you šŸ™‚
      We’re cautiously over the moon.
      We celebrate, I even talk to my tummy already, but there’s still a bit of doubt sitting at the backs of our heads, that fear…

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