Moving Along the Timeline

24 Jun

It’s been 4 weeks since we found out we’re pregnant. Hard to believe. It feels like I’ve been pregnant for ages. Well, pregnant with knowledge, anyway (I don’t really feel pregnant… still find it hard to believe there is a new human being growing inside my belly).

I am thinking of the journey still ahead of us – summer, fall, winter… We’re due on Feb. 5th. It feels so long. It feels so far away. And yet – 4 weeks have passed already. And our Blueberry will be 8 weeks on Sunday. So time is moving.

And I am thinking: do I really need a pregnancy book? I have one – which my friend gave to me. I receive weekly emails from a couple of websites with updates of what’s happening inside me. Do I really need to know more?

I sure need to know more about labour – but signing up for prenatal classes later on will take care of that.

So. What I really think we need – is to start reading books about parenting. To start building our point of view on whether a crying baby needs to be addressed immediately, or should be left alone to build its character and cry itself to sleep every now and then (sounds brutal). Take the baby to bed? When to transfer the baby to a separate bedroom? For how long to breastfeed?

Just as I found myself utterly unprepared when I found I was pregnant (I knew so much about each of the 28 cycle days and NOTHING about week 5 and further) – I am worried that we might find ourselves totally unprepared for when the baby is with us.

What do you think? When is it time to start reading about raising a child?

And – what books would you recommend?

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12 Responses to “Moving Along the Timeline”

  1. Babylicious June 24, 2011 at 12:26 PM #

    I’ll be honest…I’m a big read everything I can person. I had four pregnancy books, plus all of the online reading. I found that I read a lot at first and then later, I’d be super behind and read only the pertinent parts. I learned so much from my due date message board and the like. Now I’m reading parenting/sleep books during night feeds! I like your plan šŸ™‚

    • zygotta June 24, 2011 at 2:55 PM #

      Right – I guess I want to be able to close my eyes during those feeds šŸ™‚

  2. Ordinary Girl June 24, 2011 at 10:45 PM #

    I would say that you need a mix of both, but a lot of that depends on your OB. My OB didn’t really tell me anything. So I did a lot of reading so I’d know what was normal and what wasn’t and what to expect. After Bean was born though, we realized that there were certain things we should have done more research on. The top thing being sleep! We knew what we didn’t want to do, but we didn’t know what all the ideas about sleep were and trust me, the last thing you want to do is try to figure that all out when you’re already sleep deprived. So I totally agree with you that doing reading for what’s to come, will be really good. Good luck to you!!

    ICLW #9

    • zygotta June 25, 2011 at 11:32 AM #

      I am still a fertility clinic visitor – so have no clue how good my OB is going to be. But overall, I’d guess that the free medical system in Canada is unlikely to make doctors be willing to spend extra hours giving consultation.

      My family doctor, for example, wrote down a mayo clinic web address for me when I was diagnosed with PCOS – instead of talking to me about it…

  3. Lindsey June 25, 2011 at 2:14 AM #

    I agree with Ordinary Girl. A mix of both is always a good thing. But, I am the kind of person that will go through a book in a day if you let me, which I guess would be why i have 12 books on order through amazon all about PCOS. I am such a book worm

    • zygotta June 25, 2011 at 11:33 AM #

      12 books???
      I would probably avoid getting so much just for the fear of learning too much and getting too paranoid! šŸ™‚

  4. China Doll June 25, 2011 at 3:11 AM #

    This is my dilemma too! When I finally got pregnant, I realised I had no idea about what that involved so I quickly bought a pregnancy book which I love! But recently have realised that I probably need to do some reading about looking after a baby /raising a child too! I’m a bit over-cautious so I’ll be waiting till after 13 weeks to buy those books, but I definitely think they’ll be essential šŸ™‚

    • zygotta June 25, 2011 at 11:33 AM #

      I hear you – I am also hesitant to buy any baby books until I make it to the 2nd trimester…

  5. Queenie June 25, 2011 at 5:17 AM #

    You’ll want some pregnancy books. I like the Mayo Clinic one. It’s good to read up each week or month before it happens, so you know what to expect. I found my pregnancy books to be a much better resource than the internet, surprisingly enough–there were things covered that I didn’t find much about. Plus, it’s all in one place in a book, and it tends to get scattered across different places on the internet. When the inevitable weird things happen during pregnancy, you want a single quick resource, and books provide that. The internet is rife with personal opinions, which aren’t always helpful (and often just make you crazy).

    With regard to parenting books, you have time. I found that my strongly held beliefs (about things like pacifiers and the baby in bed) utterly changed when the baby was here and we were going through various stages. I have parenting books now, but I use them as a reference for when I need ideas, and mostly try to parent intuitively based on what works for us.

    • zygotta June 25, 2011 at 11:35 AM #

      I am curious – what is it that you need to know? SO far, all I saw were very mundane tidbits of information along the lines of drinking more water and exercising. I mean – that’s obvious!

      But then I’m only 8 weeks, so not much is happening…

  6. BleedingTulip June 25, 2011 at 6:44 PM #

    I have to admit, I think it’s strange how, as a group, infertile women read everything under the sun on how to get pregnant, and then more often then not jump right to parenting material. Don’t get me wrong, I think that it is SUPER important to start thinking about how you want to parent, and get those conversations going with your spouse. Try to have any disagreement discussions now instead of in the heat of the moment with a screaming child and you are both short on sleep.

    But I just think it’s strange… there are plenty of things to know about our bodies during pregnancy, and there are SO many options today for labor plans… I am a big advocate of knowing your options for labor. Perhaps it’s all my friends and family members and how knowing options can make such a difference….

    Generally speaking my friends who educated themselves had a MUCH better labor experience, even if an emergency happened and their labor plans had to change. Knowing WHY things were happening, and were able to ask the questions that mattered to them, really helped them to stay calm (or as calm as one can during labor)

    Those I know who did not really educate themselves and just “went along” with whatever their doctors said had more difficult births (emotionally and physically) and strangely every one of them ended up with a C-section, and now look back and wonder whether they were necessary or not.

    So I guess that’s my two cents, for whatever it’s worth. So, to sum up, definitely DO read parenting stuff, but try to keep some pregnancy and birthing books around too.

    • zygotta June 26, 2011 at 10:10 AM #

      Interesting trend among your friends! I certainly do intend to learn more about labour, but I am not sure there is much to learn about the ongoing pregnancy – whether there is any need to read more than a couple of books.

      As to labour – I will read and learn more about it. You have a good point on educating ourselves on what questions to ask if anything goes not exactly according to the plan, so that we can make fact-based decisions,

      So – a definite “yes” for birthing” books. But I am not ready yet to immerse myself into this question…

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