Independent Timothy

2 Apr

I was reading a thread on one of the mommy forums and realized something: Timothy is a very independent baby. He is doing very well on his own, playing in his playpen or reaching out to the toys while in his bouncy chair. Or going to bed at night.

Basically, we never hold him just because WE want to hold him – we hold him when he requests to be held.

And that’s the way it has always been.

After having a c-section, it was hard for me to hold him. I couldn’t get off the bed on my own for the first 24 hours and I couldn’t take any pressure on my belly (and he was, and is, a very heavy baby). So I only held him when I nursed him (which was every 3-4 hours) – on his request.

And it went like this afterwards. I spend a lot of time squatting by his bouncy chair, talking to him – but I don’t pick him up unless he asks – unless he fusses, makes unhappy sounds, or cries.

I don’t know if he’s become independent and pretty happy to be with himself because we held him only when he wanted, or the other way around (he was born independent and we didn’t feel the need to hold him).

But I guess it’s easier this way for us. I can do the household chores, or have people over without constantly having to pick him up. I never leave him alone and I frequently interrupt my chores or chat with friends to interact with Timothy – but he seems happy and content. And I believe that’s the way it should be. Children need to know how to occupy themselves.

Another dime in my parenting philosophy  🙂


6 Responses to “Independent Timothy”

  1. Mrs. E April 2, 2012 at 9:03 PM #

    Hm…it’s sort of like, Which came first: the chicken or the egg? 🙂 Either way, Timothy sounds like a really good-natured baby. You’re doing an excellent job!

  2. Sam April 3, 2012 at 5:17 AM #

    Whatever works for you is best. And it sounds like it works for both of you so don’t fix what’s not broken right?


  3. Laurie April 3, 2012 at 11:59 AM #

    Ruby is the same way. She’s never been a snuggly baby. The side of me that wants to raise an independent child is like, ‘yay!’ but the other side wishes that she was just a *little* bit more snuggly. I guess as long as they know that they can come to use when the needs us, that’s the important thing!

    • zygotta April 4, 2012 at 8:52 PM #

      Hmm. I never really thought into the future, but I guess you’re right: he probably won’t be very cuddly, which is sad.

      Well, you can’t have both: a cuddly baby when YOU want to cuddle and an independent baby when YOU want to take a breath…

      He’s my baby, I will love him anyway 🙂

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