Archive | March, 2014

Zachary is 3 weeks old

19 Mar

Sorry for disappearing. In short, all is well.

In long… well, Zachary is not Timothy. Timothy was an awesome night sleeper the moment he was born. Feed him, swaddle him, put him down, forget about him for 3-5 hours.

Not Zachary. Not only does he eat round the clock – he has difficulties falling asleep. So it’s wake up, eat for 30-40 minutes, and then spend 1-1.5 hours drilling a hole in my head. Fussing, crying, refusing to go to sleep. I would get him all sleepy and then, after we both start drifting away, he would poop. Or sneeze. Or start hiccupping. And then we’re back to square one.

So after 2 hours of eating and crying he’d fall asleep… only to wake up an hour later for it’s been 3 hours and he’s hungry again. Sigh.
Some nights are better. Others I am reduced to tears, cursing and asking what the f does he want and why won’t he just shut up and go to sleep. Yeah, I’m yelling at my own baby. Classy.

Oh well.

Timothy was pretty whiny during the day and a terrible napper. Zachary has much longer naps – but getting him to fall asleep for a nap is a major pain in the ass, too

He spends quite some time awake – crying, usually. He doesn’t react to rattle or my voice or pretty much anything – so being awake is pretty boring for him, I’d imagine. So he cries. Unless I unrelentlessly bounce on a yoga ball with him in my arms. The moment I try and leave the ball – screaming renews.

And then he’d nap. Most likely in my arms. So I spend my days watching dvds. With all special features, deleted scenes and commentaries – for I can’t get up and put another dvd in…

I’m exhausted. And frustrated and angry often, too. Like right now. Trying to get him to sleep. Desperately wanting to crawl in bed.

I am glad he’s my second child and I know how quickly things change and this will pass soon enough.

But for now, night time sleep qnd baby that just fights sleep is all that’s on my mind…

8 days

7 Mar

Zachary is 8 days old.

Thank you all for all the good wishes in my previous post!

I plan to write in more detail later (am typing with one thumb on my phone right now during a breastfeeding session.

Recovery was agonizing, the pain and the limitations it brings were driving me to tears. But I am healing faster than the last time.

Zachary lost 8% of his weight in the hospital (300 grams or 2/3 of a pound) but gained almost all of it back in 2.5 days after discharge. Pediatrician was so pleased she didn’t think we needed to come for another month!

However, to keep up with his appetite, I barely slept. I was reduced to co-sleeping in most uncomfortable poses, waking up every 45-60 minutes, crying a few times from exhaustion. Timothy was a big baby and did never need to feed that frequently, especially during night time. I also couldn’t put him down. He lost so much weight he was always cold if left on his own.

After those initial two nights at home, it got a bit better, I get to sleep 1.5-2 hours at a time, but he’s still feeding almost nonstop during the day. I barely left the couch today, my whole body aches from being so immobile.

Today I started crying as I really wanted to sleep and Zachary kept waking up 10 minutes after putting down. So hubby announced that Zachary cannot possibly be hungry, so he took Zachary downstairs and let me sleep. Zachary ended up sleeping for 4.5 hours straight! What was that about?! Whatever that was, I feel renewed.

Timothy is endlessly tender towards Zachary, always hugging and kissing him, but his behavior is now awful. Everything and anything sends him to tears, everything is like pulling teeth now. And I can’t even pick him up due to c-section. I feel so sad for him 😦 Especially since he’s so good witg Zachary. We try and focus as much as we cqn on him before and after daycare, but still…

So there you go. Our news, in short.