Tag Archives: Musings

What Is It Like – to Be Someone Else?

22 Dec

We were wondering today – what if we could exchange bodies? Wouldn’t it be cool if my hubby could experience what it feels like – to have a baby inside?  To feel it move and stretch? To sense it startle and hiccup?To know – from the inside – what it feels like when there’s a bump of a heel traveling across your belly?

But then we thought – if this were, indeed, possible – then how do you decide when to stay in your own body? Like – okay, now it’s labour and I’m in pain – can I switch then and get my hubby to spend some time dealing with the pain?

And then he starts pushing and I yell at him: don’t push so hard or you will tear MY perineum!

Hmm, that would be tough. Deciding whose turn it is to experience something unpleasant. Not unlike deciding who’s doing the dishes 😉

Hubbies of Pregnant Wives

16 Dec

I often see questions in online forums from heavily pregnant women, asking for advice on how to satisfy their hubbies that complain the sex life became too boring. I always feel like giving a slap to those hubbies. Seriously? This woman is carrying your baby and you complain about sex getting a bit bland? You complain about lack of sex games and narrow variety of poses? REALLY? Newsflash for you: for many pregnant couples sex is out of bounds for the whole 9 months. And for those who can do it – it’s a chore. Seriously, turning from the left side to the right side in the middle of the night makes me sigh and grunt. And you complain about sex positions?..

I realized I don’t spend much time talking about my hubby here – and he deserves more than that! Yes, I knew I married a wonderful, caring person – but the way he supports me throughout this journey to motherhood doesn’t seize to fill me with gratitude and more love.

Take the now – 7.5 months pregnant – lots of things are hard and tiring. He took over cleaning, vacuuming, and loading/unloading of the dishwasher (the repeated leaning/bowing is killing my back). He never says a word about no food in the fridge, no lunch to take to work. And he never forgets to thank me for a quick bowl of boiled perogies. And he can even cook something occasionally.

He never says a word if I spend a whole day doing nothing but hugging my laptop.

When I have my hormonal moments, he just leaves me alone. He doesn’t get mad at me. He doesn’t tell me I’m misbehaving. He just withdraws until I return to my normal self. I don’t have many of those moments these days, but the first trimester was fairly roller-coastery.

He forces me to go to bed earlier if he sees I am tired. He tries to take over as much chores as he can – and as many household questions (calling to inquire about a bill, things like that).

He offers to pick me up at the subway station if I’m coming home later than he does. He brings me flowers and treats. He hugs me and pampers me – and my belly.

Literally, he does everything to create a calm and worry-free environment for me – and our baby.

And while I keep telling him just how much I notice and appreciate all these things – there’s no way for me to express it enough. I am blessed to have him as a husband. I am very happy to have him as the father of my baby.

The Craziest Baby-in-the-Belly Video!

15 Oct

I posted my belly kicks online for the relatives and went through a few videos from other people. THIS one is the craziest thing ever. It’s hard to believe your eyes. It looks like the baby is about to puncture his mom’s belly, honestly!

Wax

27 Sep

I went for a bikini wax today. I think the baby got worried. A couple of minutes into it, he started moving actively. Which actually took my mind away from the pain – and focused on comforting the baby, sending him thought of “everything is fine”.

Belly is getting more and more pronounced. Caught my own reflection in the mirror today and was impressed. There’s no mistaking this belly for being ‘fat’ any longer.

Something strange is happening (TMI!!!) – I am waking up with a feeling of my whole area sort of swollen and uncomfortable to touch. Hmmm. What is that about? I’ll go ask the forum ladies tonight.

Everything else is fine. No, it’s great. I am happy and proud to be pregnant 😉

Kicks. He. Horoscope. Bad Thoughts.

15 Sep

For the past two days, my son is entertaining himself by kicking my cervix. I can tell. The cervix is the part that gets the contractions during orgasm. And that’s exactly the spot where I feel the kicks.

Alternatively, he kicks my colon.

He is still small enough to make me feel this is cute and smile – but I am starting to wonder what it will feel like when he gets bigger.

He.

It is so bizarre to refer to him like that.

My mom looked up the Chinese horoscope. You know how in Chinese horoscope each year has a sign, but then the year end is not Dec. 31st but is a floating date in Jan-Feb? Since our baby will be born on Feb. 5, give or take a week, I needed to know when the Chinese year starts in 2012 and what our baby will be. It turns out that next year the Chinese year will start on Jan. 23 – so we can be pretty sure our son will born in the new Chinese year and will be a Dragon. And an Aquarius, of course.

I keep looking at the sonogram pic. And my heart flutters – this is my baby! My son! He’s not even born yet, and I already love him so much, it’s weird.

But here I need to make a stupid confession. I am ashamed, but I need to share.

I always wanted a boy. But a boy as well as a girl. My husband’s family seems to produce boys almost exclusively (like 95% of kids are boys), so now I simply fear that all of our children will be boys. If the first one were a girl, I wouldn’t worry about the following pregnancies. I would’ve been certain we’ll get a boy. But I am pregnant with a boy now – so I worry that we will never get a daughter.

So stupid that I even think about it when there are thousands of women fighting for a chance to have a baby, one baby, any baby.

But there I am. And getting a few “disappointed’ responds from hubby’s family (they clearly hoped there finally will be a girl) did not help.

Oh well.

Regardless… I love this baby. I love my baby boy. But I know next time I get pregnant, I will be soooo focused on getting a girl. And I am afraid to think what I will feel if the next one will be a boy, too. And I think I won’t have the courage to try for the third baby in that case…

How People Find My Blog?

10 Sep

For some reason, I like looking at my blog stats. And the most amusing thing is the “search terms” – which is words and phrases through which people got to my blog. They google something and – voila! – they land on my page.

Some of those are so, so weird.

Many are sex-related. I guess with this being an IF-to-pregnancy blog, and words like vagina being used every now and then, it shouldn’t surprise me.

Anyway, here’s my top-10 weirdest searches in no particular order; spelling preserved:

  • woman looks pregnant after eating (hmmm… and what info were you trying to find?..)
  • what does a maturing follicle measuring 2.0 * 1.8cm on the right side mean (wow, that’s really precise)
  • fryingpan head (what does this even mean?)
  • pregnant peach (mmm… huh?)
  • weeks bump dh bloat friends (what on earth were you trying to find???)
  • smal titts teenys (I know what you were looking for… I wonder how did your search engine end up picking my blog???)
  • old woolen blankets (right. all i talk about here is really old, musky woolen blankets.)
  • the art of sucking boobs (right. because that’s what I write about here)
  • pregnant woman mn state fair beer (again, I am lost – what were you looking for?..)
  • mil wants to visit with flu (were you expecting advice on google??)

Whose Body Is It Anyway?

7 Sep

I often wondered about the way some pregnant women behave – grabbing their boobs in public while saying they got bigger, sharing their nude pictures, some even going as far as demonstrating their darkened nipples to a roomfull of people.

I understand them now. It’s weird – but when I look in the mirror these days, I don’t quite connect what I’m seeing with the real me. I am not convinced this is my body. Those huge boobs covered in blue veins? Those humongous nipples, darker than what I am used to? This belly?

That’s not me. I love they way it all looks. And I actually do feel this weird desire to show it to someone and say “look, doesn’t this look spectacular??? Isn’t this nature’s most beautiful masterpiece?”

It’s very bizarre. I have never been an exhibitionist – in fact, I used to be painfully shy (no-male-doctors-shy). And I can’t even call it self-loving or whatever. Because it’s not really me I am so enamored with. It’s the pregnant body 🙂